on vacation to visit hali-baba

I am moving back.

Moving back to the land that I was from. I might be back a lot sooner. I might not be for I am a free soul that no one takes charge of.

The moment I bought my plane ticket online, I felt that my life is going to change. For all I know is that the moment I step on the plane, my childhood/ innocent life is over. It will be welcome to adult life. The life that will endure full time work and a part time masters program. I am leaving my comfort zone. Some are saying why do you want to leave home? Home is too comfortable for me. I am not motivated to do anything right now. I know under my parent's eyes, I can never be me.

I had a very good conversation with a friend. The friend and I both agreed that talking about future scared the crap out of us. We have to take charge of our lives now.

Since as far as my memory can go back to, the ideology of university has been drilled into my head. "YOU MUST GO TO UNIVERSITY IF YOU WANT A FUTURE" I grew up listening to my parents stories about their university experience. For me, there was no way out. I knew I have to be one of them to embark on one of the last final stretch of my academia life.

But what truly goes after the door of acceptance? One of the reasons why I can say I enjoy university was because for once there was no expectations laid on me. I got into a good school and I manage good grades.

Now that the walk in the "university room" is over. Where am I suppose to go? My parents expectations and ideologies stopped the day I moved out of their house and moved into my first "own" place in university. Most dreams stops at the door. For 4+ years, its about soul searching and finding your own definition in life.

Now I must do my own map writing and find out what the next room of my life will be.