SUMMER TRIP 2010 PLANNED!

Since I have to be a kidult in a couple of weeks and I did my big grad trip last summer, I am planning my short grad trip 2010! 

April 22-May 1st- WEST COAST! HERE I COME! 

lent

some of you might not know what lent is... to sum it up.. lent is 45 days before easter... and you choose to give up something... 

i am going to give up shopping for clothes.. shoes... those kinda things... 

some of you might not know... it is a HUGE commitment for me.. consider i really do like to buy clothes a lot! 

so everyone... now until easter.. lilian is not shopping for any clothes!!!! please watch out for me.. and remind me! 

my mother's advice to problems arise while watching the olympics

Every 2 years, I have a little identity crisis. This problem arise whenever there's an olympic or winter olympic happening. 

I ask myself the same question year after year... "now Lilian... which country do you support?" 

The answer will depend on what sport, which olympic, what are the score.. many various factor. My emotion that day will also take a play in what side I cheer for. 

Do I cheer for Hong Kong? 

or Canada? 

or China? 

Winter Olympics tends to be easier because Hong Kong is not in it. China didn't actively participate in it until last Olympic. Canada was a good choice back then. Now that China is kicking butts... my 4 year problem had became a 2 year problem. 

But for a women's speed skating competition, China and Hong Kong were both in the same race. I had the toughest time to decide which side to cheer for. By the time I can decide on something, both sides got disqualify. 

Charlie and I discover a new problem. What if... China and Canada were playing in something together heads on. NOW... which side do we take part of. 

This can relate to as... identity crisis. I am sure many people who grew up in Canada will have the problem of... am i a Canadian? or am I a Chinese? 

My crisis only happens when I have to choose a side. 

So I decide to have a discussion with my mother about this. At the age of 22, I had a discussion with my mother about identity crisis. My mother's asked " when you are in foreign land "where's home for you?" What will you reply  "Canada" My mother thought the answer was good enough. She concluded that "I am just a Chinese Canadian... don't think too much" 

I eventually bought up how I am actually more Portuguese than Canadian because I am a part Portuguese. 

At the end, my mother got fed up with me and said. 

"Just watch the game. Don't pick a side because God doesn't choose favorites" 

i am not a good girlfriend and i am not a good bestfriend but i am a good friend... at least i think

I am not a good girlfriend. 

I say I am a good girlfriend by committing to come home at least once every 2 weeks. But seriously, I choose my good friends over him on his birthday. I slot out at least 1 time to see him on the weekends I am home. But for the last couple of times I seen him, its been in a group setting where we didn't really get to talk. 

I don't call and check up on him when he has a "guy's night out" I actually don't even call on a regular basis. 

I sometimes refuse to go to these hang out nights with his close friends because i simply don't enjoy being the only girl there. 

I enjoy watching basketball while he enjoys just staying in and drinking beer with his buddies. 

He goes out of his way to do things that I like but I refuse to do the same. 

I don't use affectionate words. The most affectionate words I think I ever use were "I miss you! =)" hence the happy face. 

So what does our relationship base on? 

texting. 

even now, i been so busy with school- we don't text every day. but texting is when he tells me about his day and i know what he is doing from a day to day basis. its my "way" of checking up on him. 

I am not a good bestfriend

It was one of my bestfriend's birthday party on Wednesday. She is seriously one of my longest and oldest friends. I think we known each other for 15+ years. 

I know everything about her. She knows everything about me. Pretty good eh? 

For at least 3 terms in school, we live a 25 minute walk or a 10 minute bus ride or 5 minute car ride away. 

I think I only visited her a total of 5 times. She hasn't visited me. LOL! thats a good reason because she doesn't really know my roommates but i know all her roommates pretty well. 

When people ask me, How is so and so doing? I am like... humm.. she's okay. I haven't seen her in 3 weeks? The person will reply... don't you two live like in the same city for school? 

We do... but we don't hang out together like we do in Toronto. Actually even in Toronto, we don't hang out that much. 

So what does our friendship base on? 

We communicate a lot when we are both having problems. Random- once in a blue moon msn. Actually I don't know how I know things about her and how she knows things about me.  

I think its those random bbtea night where we just sit there with our own laptops and drink. 

Sometimes I feel like the only reason why we are still close friends is because of the 15 year mark. Its hard to find someone that knows you for 15 years. I mean even with a new friend, its hard to update on her from elementary school until now. But I love her. She will always be one of my very bestest friends. 

I am a good friend. 

I think I am one. I do make time to see a lot of my friends. If you know me, I have many different groups of friends. I also have a lot of little 1 people groups that I know from the most random places. My good friend, Jenn, i met her at a dinner. She came with her ex-boyfriend. I was friends with him. He introduced us. We bonded. Became good friends. But both of us stopped talking to the guy. 

Until recently, I have never kept a day to day basis with anyone. EXCEPT for one. that is because we are both text addicts. 

But eventually, with different people, I been keeping my life day on a day to day basis with some people. 

Mind you, I don't even communicate with my parents weekly. 

It is a big step for me and  I am starting to not become as social awkward. I am starting to open up more and more to friends. 

This topic just been on my head for the past couple of days... just felt like I should share with you all.