i just came back from charlie's baptism... seeing his friends and him showing their faith to the public reminds me of when i was their age declaring my faith to the public... i can't believe it has been 5 years and 1 day (lol) since my baptism.. and this 5 years, i go through up and down on my spiritual journey. i stood on my own fort and fought many spiritual battles with different people that comes in and out of my life. 

even though different groups of friends do come and go.. but it is really my church friends that has always been around the ones that gave me the hug every sunday and knows me for who i am.. the lilian that has been so innocent that no one has known before. this is the group of friends that made sure i stood firm in my ground and kept making sure i was accountable for. thank you my girlies. no lies. its been amazing to come back and just chit chat for a hour and a half every sunday and do our "girly" routine of chatting with everyone. you girls are the only ones that can truly witness every single change i take place of in the last decade plus. =) 

but on the other day, while i am witnessing these new brothers and sisters in christ accepting the Christ before me- it just hit me how innocent they were when they were like 8 or 9. the answers they used to give me in bible lessons that i want to pull my hair out. i remember when one of them was the quiet little one and now she is leading singspiration. another one will be the tomboyish one has become such a girly girl. i doubt i can ever imagine these kids had turned out so amazing the way they did like today. the kiddies made me so proud. 

witness charlie's baptism. seeing this christian slowly matured and developed into who he is was a God given chance. a chance that i feel special enough to witness. from the clueless about everything child into sharing his testimony with grandma in the kitchen to being able to witness him assist in my bible lessons and to now- baptism. as many of you know.. me and him.. we are like real brother and sister. in fact, we are actually closer to each other than many siblings we know. seeing him turn into a man of God in the home i grew up at- the feeling is undescribe. there are no words being able to describe the exact same feeling i am feeling... 

okay enough rambling. because high school reunion andd justina's partyyyy

Christmas Spirits

I realize today is December 9, 2009. There is around 22 days before the end of this decade. I remember 10 years ago this time, people were all so worried about Y2K. Time flies by when you are there. 10 years later, I am here writing my miserable papers. 

Just because it is like 16 more days until xmas... I feel like I should get into the whole Christmas spirit. (consider we just got our first snow like this morning in the am) While I am studying, I decide to turn on some Christmas music. My favorite to listen- Oh Holy Night. After listening to a whole hour of O Holy Night ranging from Nsync to Josh Groban to Celine Dion to Pavarotti... I am still not in a Christmas spirit. Consider I am such a holiday fan... it kills me that I am not in the spirit yet. Maybe I am listening to emo xmas music. Oh well!~ 

I wish there's a pill that you can pop and you will automatically have the Christmas spirit. 

5 more days until freedom! but 2 more days until death... 

silly friends and silly doings...

I am super duper annoyed. After an annoying weekend home, I came back to school to a smelly house. The house smells so bad that it smells like burnt soy sauce. I don't even want to be in there for too long. Maybe I am just getting PMS soon, but I am really annoyed today and i only been back for like 30 minutes 

thinking...

Lately.. mainly because I been applying for jobs. I don't know where do I want to be. Do I want to be at a place where I am the most comfortable but will not achieve the thrive that a career brings me? OR do I want to be at a place where I can get this high but possibly be alone for the rest of my life? 

So hard to decide... 

 i swear i feel like i am in a worst situation than high school! 

thank you all...

it has been a long week... in school, in my personal health, in my family... 

i am sick right now... 

but thanks for all the concerns, prayers, hugs, and stuff =) my family is fully supported by amazing people... we can do this... i just want to say a big thanks again. this past 4 days has been a roller coaster ride for me. just pray that i have the endurance for me to run this race. 

but i see a long month ahead of me already... 

I feel like ever since I came back 6 months ago.. I came back as a different person. 

I changed. I really did changed. I guess that was what I wanted to accomplish and I did it. 

I had a talk with a good friend tonight. She was saying how I came back. It feels like I keep to myself more. Did I really do that? I think I do. She also had said I dont seem to be as happy as I used to be. 

Sometimes I feel so tired and bored of dealing with different things right now that I just want to die and not care about it. 

i am back in school... but it feels like everything is different this time around... like i dont have my girl friends but i do have the girls i grew up with... so maybe it will be a good change? i am hanging out with the 2 girls i spend my whole life growing up with lately... and the 2 guys... 

everything has been alright... but i miss the trios... 

looking at my pictures now... i realize carrying my camera on my trip is TOTALLY worth it... oh gosh.. the back aches and heavy backpack... totally worth it! =) 

DAY 1- 2

SOO.. my flight was suppose to be leaving at 8:40pm... instead because of all the crazy weather condition.. it left at 1:30am...
I was soo tired, thirsty, sleepy, hungry, cold- you name it- I was that.
But intersting thing was... I bumped into Alex at the gate. His family was going to Iceland for a vacation. It was pretty cool that I got to talk to him and hang out with his little sister. But then my gate got switched by like 11:30... so bye bye fun!
And we went on this crappy plane. its like those planes from my elementary school days! VERY GHETTO!

Btw.. i missed my connecting flight. So they placed me on a flight 7 hours later. With 6 hours of boredom- I adventure into the city of Dublin. It was pretty fun. I joined a local and castle tour. I kidna forgot about my camera until after my castle tour was done. But dont worry. it was amazingly beautiful.

I feel that God agreed how stress I was and desperately needed some time alone. During this 30+ hours alone, I really had a blast with myself. Exploring a city that I had no knowledge about- A PLACE that i didn't even plan to go. but just reflecting and think upon myself was really fun and i appreciate this.

SHOPPING! H&M in dublin is soo cheap. i bought a sweater for 5 euros! LOL! well.. cause its chilly outside.. thats why i bought it...

Anyway. i am going to go check in now.. so ask kurt had suggested- sleep at the gate because I won't be arriving at my hostel until 7 hours later.

SO LILIAN HAS CONQURED DUBLIN! WOOOHOOO!!!

Continue the last 7 hours of my trip before i am reunited with my love ones in paris

i am grateful! =)

I am grateful that I have amazing friends that supports me and listen to my ramblings. 

I am grateful that I can have korean bbq at 12am. 

I am grateful that my friends are up to my random craziness 

I am grateful that I have facebook to know what my friends has been up to. 

I am grateful that I have the freedom the do what I want to. 

I am grateful that I am special! =) 

After the charity dessert night that Josh host, I went out for Korean bbq with my dear ex-roomie, Jason and Christine. 

Jason is one of a kind. He's an angry person that secretly likes to watch out for the whole group of us. It makes him very angry when he sees people doing mean things to us. Kitty, Jackie and I are like his little chicks. 

Seriously... friends is a blessing. It's a gift from God. The silly me, always had friends through out my whole life that watched out for me. I had been sooo blessed with all the crazy people around. Have you wonder how your life is so different? My life will be so different from doing silly things with Angel. Dessert night with Leona. Telling Cyrus to act his age. Ira's randomness. Marilyn's spunkness. Jackie's chillness. Gold digging talk with jhonny. My crazy older friend, Vennesa- that totally understands my stupidity. My motherly figure- Cyan. Carmen's nagging about me doing the best job I can. 

There's just too many to name. But seriously.. Look around you. can you imagine life without any one of your friends? I can't because i am too afraid to! :P But seriously. I LOVE YOU GUYS> 

I am now a dictator on the phone too

My first bunch of friends had left for Europe. (lucky them..) Lilian was getting ready to go out for the evening. THEN BAM! all of a sudden... texts and msn msgs starts flying in from all direction. 

"Lil... should i bring 2 in 1 shampo...?" 

"I think sometimes I should learn how to shut my mouth" 

" Ira just left her house in Waterloo. It's 6:15.. the flight is at 8..." 

"Her luggage might not make it" 

"Can you find Ira?" 

"haha. I knew they were going to be late" 

"Swati got locked out of her own house... it is 6pm now!!! from waterloo!" 

all these are random examples of texts i got through out the 2 hours and 30 minutes.. from my 4 favorite people... this ranges from me getting ready to actually going out.. to eating.. to FINISH eating... the whole night has been me replying these texts... make sure they will all be on track. I feel like I am a dictator. Organizing and ordering what to do when i was having a dinner. Thank you guys! 

I guess it was a good thing that Cyrus decide to make sure what is going on. thank youu cy!!! =) or else imagine me... 

I feel like i been a pretty good commando on the phone today =)

Yesterday night. another study session with sandy. but quickly joined with jhonny. I guess that went quite well because we all walked away quite happy. *sigh* I pretty much finished my assignment last night. studying at green grottle was actually quite fun because of the comfortable environment and food.. lol!~ 

after i dropped the girls off at home, i went over to kurt's. kurt the nice friend is bringing some stuff back for me from hk (things that my friend in hk got me) and i also got kurt to bring back a present for my friend! =) 

then kurt and i went out for mcdonalds because i was having this huge mcdonalds craving. we just sat under the star and talk for a couple of hours. it was so nice outside and so breezy that we completely forgot about the time. 

its kinda sad that in less than a span of a week- majority of us are scatter in different places in the world. first off is kurt to hk today... (i think he just got off the plane now) then the girls and jackie off to euro and cyrus going home for a month on saturday.. then swati and me will be joining the rest in paris. =) 

anyway.. back to studying.. so wednesday.. i am outta studying hell.. and thursday... i am on my way of 2 week of vacation! =) 

what a wonderful day! =)

today... after church.. i went out lunch with johnny and the group. *johnny.. we need to start using code names* 

it was really fun cause chan cee ly and i went to the juniors and the seniors softball games today. the juniors lost by so lost... but before the game... we went to fairview.. and we went by padbury and they have these yummy ice cream bars that were dipped in chocolate.. SOO GOOD.. but i only finished half of it because it collapse when i was driving. 

but after the junior game, which ended VERY late and sandy's devos were taking forever... we were like a hour late for the seniors game. it is soo much more intense than the juniors. we should have just left sandy at her game. 

it was a very fun and chillaxing time at the side.. hanging out with mrs. chan and sandy. i really enjoyed the time today. =) mrs. chan and i were really catching up with each other's lives and stuff... and sandy joined us. it is like a day of A LOT of girls talk. seriously this is where i learn to become the master of girls talk... from church people... but too bad sandy ditched us at dinner. 

and it was RAINING SOOOO HARD tonight. and cyrus was being a bum again with his text messages when i was driving home. 

JOHNNY- something jer is very cool. johnny.. you should be friends with him. he's better than whats his name/ can't do score sheets properly! and we had a blast on our side without you! 

work, friends and boss

i just found out after my departure at NB.... my 4th friend is leaving NB. this one is different. (i guess you can say i am close to all 4 of them because they are my "fun and games" buddies at the company) i ate breakfast with him every morning. he bakes and brings me food. we talk about beauty together. he was my Stanford in life(how Charlotte had a Stanford in sex and the city) our business trips together were entertaining and full of girls talk. but now he's leaving because his boss is being crazy. (we are not in the same department but we work very closely together) 

to me, it was a good company. my boss was nice even though he bullies me. i learned a lot. i had a lot of opportunities. but i made myself a promise is that unless i can go back as a higher position, or else i won't be going back because i felt that i absorb a lot when i was there. but i won't be learning too much more. i never admitted to it why i came back early. it was because i felt that i was being stuck inside this whirlwind power struggle between the 2 department heads. i was very tired and annoyed that i was in the middle making peace. that is the main reason why i left nb early than i intended to. 

talking about my boss. haha! like his daughter continuously tells me "he's a dictator." oh he is. But without this man's dictatorship, i won't be who I am today. Due to this dictatorship, I was force to doing a lot of things I never imagined I can do. He gave me the opportunity to "stand firm" and "toughen up" i guess at the same time, he used his most indirect way to tell me that I have a gift of dealing with people. He gives me responsibilities that no grown man should give a 20 year old. He gave me all the possible "educational moment" in our jobs so I can learn how to deal with them. For me, even though he's a dictator. But I learn so much from this man. He had truly influence me. seriously, i have never been so grateful for anyone who's not my family. even though, i am half way across the world- i know he gets his daughter to check up on me regularly. and he will be there for majority of my life because i am good friends with his daughter. (somehow he thinks i am a good influence on her) 

why are people so stupid?

I make fun of gold diggers. I joke about being a gold digger all the time. But that doesn't make me a gold digger. I say I should be one but it doesn't mean I am one! 

ARGH! 

so stupid. I have this stupid friend, who's like 28 now. He is so social awkward! It's like. DUDE! GROW UP! 10 years ago, your jokes were funny. 10 years later- your jokes are lame! 

He asks me the worst questions ever. 

Like... if you can't afford to go out.. then leech off some guys. 

SERIOUSLY! i say i will.. doesn't mean i will! GOSH!!! so stupid... 

Right now...

I see myself being in Hong Kong in the future. Maybe not like recent future.. but I see hong kong as part of my life goal. 

I don't know if I want to go to UK to get that grad dip regarding supply chain for fashion... or do i want to stay here and get my HR designation then go to uk to go back to hk... 

everything is so blurry right now. do i want to stay in hk or canada? 

i am giving time for God to help me decide. 

if i can find things that will prompt me to stay in Canada- I will stay here. 

but if i don't... 

I am going back to HK. 

so scary

so i was napping in my bed, and suddenly there were like door bell.. so i peaked outside.. and didn't recognize the car so i kinda went back to napping... 

but the person at the door just won't stop ringing!!!! 

so i finally got down and opened the door.. and turns out that there's no one there. 

and then i went to the kitchen to get juice. while i was drinking juice, i saw this black woman poking her head into my kitchen. so i SCREAMED!!!! obviously it worked. then i am like.. why are you on my property? this is trespassing. blahblahblah. she explain she's from some nursing agency. then with more questions- she ran away. 

so obviously i was going to call the cops. but then i realize lets make sure she's really from a nursing agency. luckily i remember her agency's name and i called and confirmed that she's really an employee. so nahh..not going to call the cops. 

somehow this story doesn't seem as exciting on the blog than it does when i am talking about it. ask me.. and i will tell you the story in person 

so embrassing

So i met this guy when it was Grade 10 summer on a cruise. At that time, being the only girl in the group- i love hanging out with him. but nothing happened. and for the next 2 year, we were each other's dates for school events, i went to his prom, he hung out with my friends. lets call him the fling. 

the fling and i got into an argument in my grade 12 year... so his first year... and i haven't talked to him since.

SO now we are selling the frey tickets... i wrote it on my msn name... and a lot of people who i haven't to in ages are msging me. 

i guess that is a good thing because the fling was one of the people that messaged me too. he looks way hotter than he did in first year. and apparently right after me, he met this girl. this girl and him had went out with him for like 3.5 years but broke up a while back. being the huge ego me, i didn't want to tell him that i haven't had anything more serious than him (a fling) since him. so i made up some stupid lie saying my "boyfriend" is kicking me off the computer. in fact, it was just my sleepyness kicking in. but it is so embrassing! 

note 1: reason why he was called a fling is because we never actually hold hands, we never kissed, we never acknowledge each other as a boy/girl friend. 

SO ANGRY!

So i got my midterm back... i got 49.5%! 49.5! like why can't the stupid prof just give me an extra 5%? NOO! he doesn't want to and told me to study harder next time. AND he told me i actually did quite well because class average was like 53!!!
its 4 more days until the midterm and he's telling me that he's EPIC failing me for that stupid 0.5%! that doesn't even mean anything in reality!!!!!

i am happy

I am happy that I have very amazing friends. More than once, people have told me that they been jealous of the friendship I share with my 2 good friends. 

These 2 good friends I have...1 will cry with me when i laugh my head off.. while the other one will laugh with me until i am crying. They been with me as I witness or go through crazy things. 

I been blessed throughout my life to have amazing friends. Friends that will guide me back on the right path. Friends that we can do silly things together. Friends that we break all rules with. You two are my amazing friends and you guys are also irreplaceable because I will never meet greater friends than you two. I know, however we are spilt up in terms of geographic locations... we will still be together. 

Because LONG LIVE THE TRIOS! 

lol... yes i know.. i am being gay again... 

after an intense day of Grey's

I decided I want a surgeon boyfriend.. who's a combination of Owen and McDreamy. 

Now.. won't that be sexy? 

creepy starbucks guy

I was studying at Starbucks... and suddenly this weird looking man stood next to me... and he was trying to poke his straw into his cup.. while staring at me... it happened for like 5 minutes.. and then i creeped out... so i left and fled home! 

i am feeling better now... i guess i work out my stupid problem! thanks guys! 

i am hopeless and mess up

i feel so stupid... VERY STUPID.. like idiotic stupid.. 

I don't think I can tolerate this anymore.

I can't tolerate someone, especially my friend, that is over 3 hours late. We agreed to meet at 12. It's 12. Not 11, Not 1, and NOT 3. 

Calculating all the time I spent on waiting for you. I wasted days in my life. It is a complete joke to my life. If someone that can't take my time seriously, will they take what I say seriously? or even my action serious? 

It is not a joke. Time is money. I hated that I purposely turned my friend down, so I can hang out with you. But in fact, you made me wait for over 2 hours!!! A complete waste of invitations of lunch, shopping... I should have went to those instead. 

it was scary

On a beautiful Saturday afternoon, Lilian was napping at home by herself. Enjoying the nice summer breezes and sleeping away was the perfect way to end her tiring day. (tiring as in shopping and family brunch) anyway... that wasn't the point. 

SUDDENLY

a gush of wind went through her room.. and the power in the whole house shut down! (like the scary movies) then she looked outside, the wind was so strong that the trees were waving at such a weird angle. *hum..* she wondered... "what happened?" still confuse and daze from her nap.. and the phone rang. apparently it was her security alarm company telling her that her whole entire neighborhood (unionville) had ran out of power.. so in case anything happens... she should do something (i forgot what that guy told me) 

and then realizing she was VERY hungry. she decide to go out to buy dinner since she was the only one home. she went out and the journey that normally takes her 5 minutes of driving took her 40 minutes. pissed.. hungry... stress.. sleepy.. Lilian was not a happy camper. especially when she came home to a powerless house and her evening plans of playing Mah Jong with friends are cancel because all her friends lives in unionville.. so mah jong was cancel. 

realizing she needs her saturday night planned. she resort to her friend, angel. but angel.. very unsympathiclly asked her to do something lilian doesn't really like. SING K... 

then when that happened.. BAM the POWER came back on. and now Lilian is happily typing this weird blog entry to the whole wide world to read

WE ARE GOING TO BACKPACK EUROPE!!! 

august 15t- sept 2nd! 

Dublin, London, Paris, Rome, Barcelona! HERE WE COME! 

i been wanting to...

i been wanting to put this picture up for the longest time because i thought it is such an interesting picture.... 

look at my "smile" walking down the isle.... 

i am so confuse.

where do i stand in terms of what i want in life?

is it stupid to still be friends with someone who hurt me so much back then?

I AM BACKKKK!!!!

how Hong Kong has changed me as a person- PART 1

Before HK, I was a very someone who didn't know what I like or not like. Even for very simple things, like ice cream- I didn't really know. For example, I don't really like ice ceam, but yet I always said i LOVE it because I don't hate it. But I just realized I don't really like it. I don't mind having it. But I don't like it.

HK has also changed me into someone who will easily voice out my opinion. I realized that voicing my opinion is really important. People might take advantage of you if you don't voice out your concerns. I had been in numerous cases been taken advantage of by the same person. I am more straight forward now. ( I am sure Marilyn will greatly appreciate this change the most)

I know what I want. I know I don't want a rich and high end life. But I do want to have a normal life and just sustain how I live now. Able to go on vacations like my parents. Able to support my kids through college. I just want very simple things.

I had met amazing friends. Seriously- before I started working in HK- people often tell me that HK is full of people that are 2 faced. takes advantage of people. not sensitive. terrible to work with. But I think I lucked out on this one. My co-workers are seriously some of the closes friends I have in HK. We see each other around 50 hours a week and on top of that, we see each other on the weekends and sometimes at night. I can make truly be myself here at NB. Making fun of each other, thinking of lunch at like 10am in the morning, planning short trips, those are things we all truly enjoy.

Since I am not leaving yet, and lunch time is here.. i will continue later...

i bought a new cell phone

So the story is.. I bought a nice, new cell phone. One with Wi-fi.. and a bunch of stuff that I will properly never learn how to use.

But the most important reason why I choose this phone over all the other phones is that this phone has GPS on the phone!!! When the sales person told me that there's GPS on the phone and it works world wide.. I was pretty much like! YES! i want this phone!

After I got this phone, I realized that I don't really know how to use all these functions. It's too fancy for me. =_=|||

and I still haven't gotten my GPS to work. *sigh*

This sucks.


btw.. check out my new favorite web site... www.mymomisafob.com

I DID IT!!!!
i CUT my hair short.... i will post the pictures on facebook soon...

happy single awareness day

on this single awareness day-
i dont know if i like someone. like i will think about him. when he talks to me.. i will mellow. but i am not seeing him every day- he makes me feel good. and i don't know.
maybe it has been too long since i remember the feeling of liking someone.
i dont know if i like him or not. but he's in canada now. so we will see... or maybe someone can help me figure out.

I DID IT PEOPLE!

I ran a 10km marathorn today. My finish time was 73 minutes... PRETTY GOOD EH?

I thought it was really, really neat that I ran along side with some of the top world's runners. and also i ran with around 55,000 people. PRETTY NEAT EH?

anyway. my pictures will be up soon!

LONG LIVE OBAMA!

Okay. I like Obama. I like Obama A LOT. I am also very proud of the fact that I am able to witness this.

I feel that it is such a good decision for the Americans to choose such a man with such wisdom and charisma.
ANYWAY! My point being that...

I seriously almost cried when I witness his winning of the Presidental Election.

My tears came out when he sworn his presidency. It feels like even though we say we live in a "racial free" world, but all of us, who are not white, will have to agree that that are some point in our life that we were put down because we weren't WHITE. I am not trying to start a racial discussion here. But I am just expressing my opinion. At the end, a blaack man comes in and swipe the world with his words and action. It is proving that we are improving as a whole world.

Seriously- words can't describe how I was able to witness this historical moment. This will be one of those moments along the line of "Where were you when 911 happened?"

But I am grateful that I am able to witness this.